Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Holidays, Travis and East Coast "Distribution"

Happy Holidays from Die Hipster.  We're essentially saying that to ourselves considering this blog's reach.  So, 'Thanks us!'.

Not much brewing work this month due to weather and travel.  However, Oaked Bourbon Porter and Belgian Rye (the non-blended one) are making very limited appearances in PA, NY and NJ.  We're talking 5 total bottles.  Let the waves of adulation begin.

This has nothing to do with beer, but as 2009 ends, we need to pay our respects to the dead celebrity that meant the most to us.  We're not talking MJ, Swayze, Fawcett or Nancy Grace.
We're sad to have lost Travis the chimp.  Now, we're not saying that what he did to that woman's "face" is cool.  In fact it's pretty  
amazing/disgusting.  But, she did get a new car and a haircut.  Travis can't be faulted for her bad taste.  He knows a good styling when he sees one.  After all, was Carla Nash in Old Navy commercials?  We're not saying her taste warranted her hands and eyes ripped off and out respectively, but you gotta take some criticism once in a while.  Tim Gunn could learn from this tough love.  Project Runway would be that much more watchable.

In any case, we also have to give props to CNN's Jane Velez-Mitchell for the wisdom of "Monkeys are not PETS!!".  She's not just a martian, she's a genius!  (BTW, that video is really worth watching.  When the lawyer states, "This is not a victim you want to put in front of a jury.", we're pretty sure he knew he was being hilarious.)  Thank God they had a panel assembled to discuss what the Simpson's have been evangelizing for 20 years:  Insert monkey and or robot and you will eventually get your face ripped off.  Anyone remember Buddy and Ollie?  They were also known to have dabbled in the black arts of 'acting'.  They took a birthday cake the wrong way and the dude lost more than just his scrotum.

We should have seen it coming though.  Travis' mother was also killed for going apeshit.  No word on the father.  We all know that tearing off faces is genetic.  Alas, Travis will be missed.  RIP man.  Keep those pearlys white in monkey heaven.  We can only hope you're defacing (yes literally) at your leisure, because monkey heaven is all about getting back at the man.

Happy Holidays from Die Hipster Brewing.